If you would like to add a question to this page or comment on anything that is said please contact us. Everything on this page is taken from our experiences with clients over the past 10 years. Question Our team leader is very abusive and has instilled great fear throughout the entire organization. Our response When the team leader is abusive there is no question that morale and productivity suffer. Much of one’s time is spent “licking our wounds”, and secretly commiserating with our peers. Often there is no recourse to a higher authority if the team leader is the higher authority, and simple “how to” books provide only a simplistic answer. Rather, I encourage your team (less your leader) to review what I have written below and see how this suits your situation. Conflict Most of us prefer to avoid conflict and feel that as long as there is an absence of conflict everything is moving along well. The bitter pill is that conflict is a reality of all organizations and of life itself but it is also simply necessary. Conflict is critically important because it hones our skills as individuals and as a team that otherwise would not be developed ---it tells us what we don’t know about ourselves and about our capacity to work as a team or as an organization. Our tendency in conflict is toward either flight or fight. Neither works. Flight simply increases the problems in the organization as the “flight” pattern becomes the accepted way to operate. It is based on the myth that either there’s nothing we can do or that it is too dangerous to do, with the end result that we don’t find more creative solutions not yet considered – although sometimes the benefit is we learn how to better coalesce as a team or learn to support others. The fight impulse is usually conducted to vanquish the opponent and often operates from a position of anger or clear opposition --- so clear and creative thinking processes are absent and a win/win solution is squandered. We may also go into a conflict situation with a clear outcome in mind, and when this is the case we will lose unless we are willing to go in directions that weren’t clear to us at the onset --- we must be willing to contemplate other solutions as the process develops and to be able to see the benefits (personal and collective) of a conflict even when our original goal is defeated. We must be good observers of the conflict and our own participation in it. We must at all costs not allow anger to enter –it will only secure a poor result. Our goal is productive conflict even when only one person is conscious of how creating a solution serves all sides. The point is to learn how to do confrontation without direct battle. The Art of War is an ancient Chinese text often used by management professionals and here’s the basic tenet: “The general is wise in Taoist ways demonstrating the benefits of warrior technique and ample practice at conflict. He is calm and keenly aware; enemies, war and thieves do not unnerve him. The general demonstrates creativity and comfort in great adversity. He appears willing to use all the resources available to him including felons to bring peace and stability. He extends respect to all around him; as master warrior, he understands that the most skilful strategy is to subdue the others’ military without battle." The question is, what to do when the person with whom you’re in conflict doesn’t appear to be interested.
The more you learn from your opponent the better your chances of survival --- the more skills you will have in dealing with them. Be clear what your code of conduct is as an individual and as a team. The code must be your statement on how you will conduct yourself (friendship, respect, strength, courtesy, support, openness, self-control, compassion, truthfulness, courage etc…..). Examine what the virtues are of your opponent in order to draw on them. Know if the time is a good one to raise issues and know your opponent well enough to understand how the issue needs to be addressed. And how will others support you so that both you and your opponent feel they have gained support and recognition. Understand how you personally get locked into a defeat position with your opponent and why, and how as a team you might also fail. Remember the goal is to create a win/win situation that may indeed be outside your original goal and that the process of developing a different relationship is a long term commitment. Make ground rules as a team so that everyone feels safe. Anticipate how a meeting might be derailed and how it might be rescued again without anyone feeling personally attacked. Anticipate verbal and language traps and when these appear know what works best to take the power out of them. For instance, introduce issues with open ended questions. If the opponent demands an answer to his or her question examine why the question is being posed and attempt to defuse the threat (they usually are feeling threatened themselves) by responding with a sincere open ended question that attempts to understand why they’re defensive in the first place but always accord validity to their question. Pause. Draw on all your research as a team, your strengths as a team, and your own personal understanding of how you function in relationship to the individual before you respond. Be clear why you’re engaged (verbally and in terms of how you’re feeling) as you are and if it is drawing on your best skills. ************************************************************ Question I work with a team of specialized technicians who are one level below the senior management team. We all have managing responsibilities. The problem is that when we take our issues and solutions to the senior management team they thank us for our ideas but never do anything about the issues themselves. We’re locked out of the decision making processes that affect us. What can we do? Our response; This is not a unique problem. Often technicians/supervisors have knowledge and insights that aren’t tapped into by upper management levels. Decision making and information may flow down in various forms but it’s more difficult to get information up – and yet for an organization to be high functioning it must flow in all directions. Here are some alternatives: Work through your own manager but take only one issue (not a whole slew – this is simply too overwhelming) and some possible solutions, a plan for rolling out the solution, the cost and the savings. Ask your manager what he or she thinks. If changes are required make them and then suggest he or she take the proposal to the senior management team. If you’re concerned about how your manager might “sell” your idea to the senior management team, suggest that you go together. Ask that that you be put on the agenda for the next meeting. If no headway is made you might consider informing your manager that you intend to take your proposal further up the ladder. Remember avoid language that might make your manager feel threatened but be firm in setting deadlines for meetings, follow ups and decision making. Remember you’re selling your idea so it must be presented in a way that allows your manager to benefit as well. t’s important to keep dialogue open and mutually beneficial not only for the purposes of this encounter but for future ones as well. Always keep you manager in the loop and always arrive with solutions and not just problems. It’s important to show results. You may have varied results in how successful your issues/solutions get handled. While you’ve been thinking about the issue and solution for a long time, the senior management team may be viewing this for the first time and may arrive at your conclusions more slowly. Be patient but request further meetings with the team to discuss their questions and concerns. Do the work for them so that they can arrive at a decision making moment more easily. Be open to considering their concerns and changes. Question I’m having difficulty letting go of my responsibilities. I’m a manager of several departments and regularly work six days a week and twelve to fourteen hours a day. I’m tired and starting to make more errors. I know my supervisors are getting frustrated with me. But how do I let go? Our response: Letting go is difficult. First we need to recognize why it’s so important for us to control so many areas that should be the mandate of our people. Often times we do have more knowledge than any one in the departments we manage because we’ve worked our way up. Senior management may support pushing responsibility down on paper but may still expect you to make sure things get down – and somehow it’s still easier for you to do it. Maybe your supervisors lack knowledge and the skills that you see as costly to the company should an error be made by them. Finally, it may be part of one’s own ego. It sure does feel good to be in charge and to hold such an expanse of authority. The answer as to why we can’t let go may be a combination of all the above. We are after all only human! But the question remains how to make it possible to let go. Aside from ego, its important to recognize that as an organization grows no one person can hold all the cards -- in fact is something were to happen to you what would the consequences be for the organization? Design a plan. The plan should include incremental steps on letting go i.e. begin with a structure that ensures people are reporting to the correct individuals and not leaping higher -- if individuals two or more levels away come to you, redirect them to their supervisors. If you feel your supervisors need more technical expertise sit with them and create a plan that will provide them with the kind of knowledge that will enable them to make informed decisions. Ask your supervisors what they need from you to improve their ability to take over more responsibilities. Remember anything you agree to MUST be followed through on. You will have to watch how you operate in order not to return to past practises. It will take time, so proceed slowly.. Question Our human resources department manager is not someone I or others feel comfortable with. We feel he acts as a disciplinarian. This seems in direct contrast to the culture and values of the organization. So who should we go to if we have problems? Our response Too often, human resources departments become bureaucratic and forget to forge open and trusting dialogue with all the people they represent. A department becomes bureaucratic when it responds to discipline and other policy and procedure issues and forgets to listen. A well functioning department is a conduit for senior management to have its direction, expectations and vision and transferred to other levels. But, Human Resources should also be an advocate for those who aren’t in the decision making core. So what to do? You may want to take your issues to your supervisor or manager. If you need to talk to someone else, you can try the Human Resources department or if the organization is rather flat, go to the president if he or she has an open door policy and you’re comfortable with that person. If you remain concerned about the direction the Human Resources department is heading, raise this with your manager. If you have an opportunity to complete an employee satisfaction survey ensure you articulate your concerns on this document. When you approach intimidating people you can use openers like, “I’m wondering if I could have a moment of your time for some advice?” “I’m having a problem and I believe you might have some good ideas for me could I speak to you for a moment?” Another approach is simply to say, “I’m a bit nervous speaking with you but I do have an issue I would like your thoughts on.” If the Human Resources manager becomes defensive simply redirect the conversation back to the core issue. For instance, “I’m glad to hear that, so here’s my dilemma…..” Do these vehicles for addressing issues always work? No. We’re always taking a chance when we deal with people we neither trust nor know. On the other hand we can be pleasantly surprised by the outcome! It’s best to approach all situations in an open, non-conflicting way. When you’re dealing with difficult people, be keenly aware of your feelings throughout the conversation. If you feel as though you’re becoming defensive pause and rework your responses to put the conversation back on track. If you have question or comment please contact us. |
Interesting Questions |